CrossFit is the new Vegetarianism. So how can you exactly tell apart a CrossFitter apart from your average human being? Simply look out for these tell-tale signs…
1. It’ll be the first thing they tell you about.
Take Fight Club, for example. Can you picture it? Okay, now completely reverse the rules of fight club, and you have CrossFit.
2. Your first encounter with them was at the hospital
9 out of 10 Doctors recommend CrossFit, because they know it’ll f*ck you up and keep them busy and well payed.
3. They literally KIP EVERYTHING.
What started off as cringeworthy kipping pull-ups, has now mutated into a kip-everything lifestyle. Reports of displeased wives of CrossFitters are claiming that ‘kipping’ simply does not do it for them in the bedroom.
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4. They dress in a way only CrossFitters know how to.
- Headband
- Knee braces (Lord knows they’ll need it)
- A T-Shirt that says something about ‘wodding’, whatever the hell that is
5. Rich Froning is to CrossFitters, what the Bible is to Christians.
Next time you try and point out the flaws in CrossFit, you can damn well expect a flood of CrossFitters to post countless pictures of a topless Rich Froning to prove whatever point they’re trying to prove.
Little do they know, the majority of Rich Froning’s training revolves around powerlifting and strength, not CrossFit. I’d dare say he uses the CrossFit games because he knows how easy he’ll mop the floor. I’d go on to say more, but I’m just not ready for another 300 topless Rich Froning pics sent my way.
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