6. THE GUY WHO FUNDAMENTALLY MISUNDERSTANDS HOW MIRRORS WORK.
This genius has discovered a way to check out women without staring directly at their spandex-clad asses. What he has failed to realize is that these magical portals are a two-way street- if you can see her perfect body in a reflection, she can most definitely see you drooling in it as well.
7. THE CASANOVA.
This dude foregoes any pretenses and moves straight from “are you done with this squat rack?” to “are you doing anything tonight?” in a heartbeat. This has undoubtedly never worked in the history of gyms or history itself, but it’s not going to stop this sweet talker from trying to get digits at the local Gold’s. Smooth. Sandpapery smooth.
8. THE OGLER.
The poor man’s #6. This guy just does not give a fuck and will continue to openly leer at women until they move to the opposite side of the weight room or exit the gym entirely. You are everything that is wrong with workout culture, and are probably not allowed within 500 feet of playgrounds. Ladies beware.
9. THE PARTICIPANT.
This is the guy who clearly has no interest in improving his flexibility and core strength, yet is still present in the back row of every yoga class his gym has to offer. You’re not fooling anyone with that half-assed attempt at downward-facing-dog, bro. The only thing more transparent than your pervy motivation for attending these classes is the leggings worn by every woman you’re blatantly checking out.
10. 98% OF GYM ATTENDEES POSSESSING BOTH AN X AND A Y CHROMOSOME.
The sad reality is that with the exception of gay men, pretty much every guy in the gym falls into one of the above categories. If you’re a woman in the weight room, you’re more than likely going to be hit on, stared at, or objectified in one way or another- if you want a harassment-free workout, your best bet is to crank up that Beyonce and make yourself as unappealing as possible, because the odds of gymbros developing any semblance of respect or human decency are about as good as my chances of winning the lottery without purchasing a ticket.
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